Raw Toochkas

HO BOY...SUM GRATE TING COMES HERE

2011-04-06T19:34:00.005-04:00

I'm gatting such a suprise for you eys. Yeh, yeh, my Hinglish is vary mengled. But thet don't metter. Look on here. Go on this place. You wooden regrat. Look I'm giving you chip trills for nutting. It's a nice boy wat meks dis ting. Its gotta name. But I don fine no ducks. Dats hokay. Is nice boy, mebbe he gat confusion. So clack on deh tiddle an you can go ther. Now. You go. Awecko wait hear for you. Hokay.

episode iii, the backstroke of the west redux

Ho Boy...I wuz skared.

2007-02-01T16:37:00.001-05:00

Blugspot, you come hear in deh nikle of time. I am gatting deh tractor, deh hemmer, deh skrues end nails, end I am goin to fix avryting, den you ar hear, and fix. I'm giving dis pixure aas prasant to you. I hav anudder one. Yu is good boyz.

Heppy Hollingdeys

2005-12-22T11:13:00.001-05:00

Cleck on cod to mek big.

For you what got Sendy Claws here is cod. Oh ho ho. Vary fonny. For odders, I get odder pixchur. I am no werk on spel becus busy wid hollingdays. Mek big fud for fembly and boyfren. I lov dis.

Wit big kiss to you!

AWECKO

Femly Elbum

2005-11-24T06:12:00.001-05:00

Dis here is me in work. I am work vary hod and clin everting vary good. My name is from my work. Everbody dere calls me dat. Dey say oh look on her wat a wecko. Or sometime dey say dat one is really off deh wall a real wecko. Sometimes dey make liddle circle by de ear with de finger, an I'm tinking dey figger me for be pretty smot person wit bren in ection all time and dat is true. I'm not speek good english, but I aint no dumhead. So I'm tinking I wanna mek a blug an talk to the American pipples, so Im needing a scream nem so I say, I call myself AWECKO becus nobody can say real name since I am from Baltics country were you never herd of and nobody can say Baltics nem not even Baltics pipples.

I work hod so I swet a lot don smell like no flower. But I mek vary clin everyting and get good raise. America vary good they pay wit dollas not wit sheeps. You got a lotta sheeps you rich in my Balkans country you never herd of, but you gotta hev big house for keep all dem sheeps. Has drawbecks.

Dis my dawter, my girl. She vary skinny. She don't eat all her pierogis. I am telling her all deh time hey skinny eat your pierogis how you gonna get good shape if you don't eat deh pierogis? She say oh mama liv me alone I like be this way. I say ok you be skinny you get esshole for husband. You wait. You see. Mama always right.

Dis here is soninlaw. Uchh wat esshole. My daughter is merry him becus he have good job in office and don stink like fish an sweat. Hey fish an sweat come off in bat tub wit nice bobbles in water. Esshole is esshole forever. I don say no more.

Soninlaw as beby, always esshole. One time esshole avry time esshole. How you say? Oh yeh once a esshole, always a esshole. Dats bedda. Say avrything. I no do oh ho ho here. I want put him bazoochkies in wash ringer. Peh!

Oh, my liddle grendson when he is 7 years. Soch a cutie. Wadda dollboy. Jost like grenma. I kent beliv he is child of esshole. Hey I tell you wat I tink he come from other side of blenket. You know wat I min? He to good for be kid of esshole like soninlaw. So my dawter did one ting smot heh? She mek lov wit sum guy wat is cute,an get good beby. I give good Catolic School ejucation. Lern through ruler. Sister weck wid ruler, you lern fest. My daughter always bleck and blue so she lern lot. So she smot to get one cute kid anyway evin if she do merry esshole. Wid dem left hend don know were rite hend is going if you know wat dat mins. He have liddle bing bing. Don get good beby. He got bazoochkies mek goldfish not bebbies. I put curse on him an his bazoochkies.

Deh grendson on tree mebe four years. Look dis cutie. Jost like his grenpapa an all his oncles. A liddle pipping tom.

Dis my sister Exzeena. She vary ravolutionary. Don't take no for enswer. She Anarchist, cut through bullpoopy wit hecksaw. In my Balkans country you never herd of, is only way. See, I lern. I know how use comma. I scare you, heh? Oh ho ho.

Now I'm gotting specel trit for you. I show you my boyfrands. Ho boy. Vary nice.

Dis one vary hot. We was mek boom-boom all night. Vary healty fella and strong. Nice fella. We hev arengment.

Dis one my real boyfrand. We don mek boom boom, mek lov, is not same ting. Wen we mek lov world explode. I no mek boom boom wit boom boom boy no more. We hev arengment. We frands now. Real boyfrand say we get merried wen we get four million American dollas. No sheeps. Is hokay for me. We hev tree an one hef million now. We get merried nex year. Oh ho ho, you tink we dumhead foreigners. No no we vary smot pipples. Industrious. My real boyfrand is model so beautiful dis man he get money for beauty. I am work vary hod sev all money. See. We smot and we lov. Vary good. Vary nice. I am heppy an he is heppy. Wen you got lov like we got you don't go nobody else. You avryting to each other an you be vary good and faitful. We do dis. We lov.

I am Water

2005-11-22T19:01:00.002-05:00

You are water. You're not really organic; you're
neither acidic nor basic, yet you're an acid
and a base at the same time. You're strong
willed and opinionated, but relaxed and ready
to flow. So while you often seem worthless,
without you, everything would just not work.
People should definitely drink more of you
every day.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Dis piple crezy. You drink me you die. I yem solit an stik in trot of you if drink me.

Heppy Tenksgiving

2005-11-21T19:56:00.001-05:00

I'm wishing everbody a heppy holiday and you should eat a lod becuse you naver know what deh nex day bring. You don know right? I know. More turkey. Oh ho ho. See, I put liddle laff in so you know I am jocking.

I see you nex week. I know you cant hodly wait! Oh ho ho.

So Hello

2005-11-20T20:51:00.001-05:00

So,you wan I should mek vary fonny on first det? Pliz, hev some rispect. Be heppy you get a gritting's es good es dis one. Were else you get such a nice ting, and it's chipper den holsale! Mek nice. I come beck soon wid pictures an all kinda goodies tings to tickle you in deh Toochka. Oh ho ho.